Our story so far:

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”

Could TheMuddler be so wise? Nah, not a chance. He doesn’t think. He muddles. His daughter thinks his life is “ridiculous”  because he rides his Vespa to the butcher to buy this week’s supply of duck eggs. The source of this wisdom? It comes from mister deepthought himself, Jack Handey. If we all were a little less selfish then the world would be less crazy. Start with your wine consumption and branch out from there.

The KGBO (a.k.a., the LCBO, Ontario’s wine monopoly) released some good wine last Saturday. In this release, I think that the KGBO is actually capitalizing on your willingness to spend more to secure decent wine for next weekend’s Thanksgiving dinner. This release seems to focus on better quality wines at a higher price point than the typical $15-$20 range. Unfortunately, many of these wines would benefit greatly with bottle age and I don’t mean a week or the length of time it takes you to get home from the store. If you are a bargain hunter I am afraid that this issue of The Muddler will leave you unsatisfied.

Outstanding wines

The $44 Jean-Marc Brocard Vau de Vay Chablis 1er Cru 2014 Chardonnay —VINTAGES#: 159012  is a wonderful mineral focused wine (an attribute I love and seek out in a wine). The 2014 vintage is a great one and this premier cru wine represents good value. It retails in the Excited States of America for $25USD. Using my double rule (accounting for exchange and payments to the People’s Republic of Canada and Ontario) one could expect to pay $50CAD here. The $44 price is decent. That said, the KGBO released the 2015 vintage of this wine last December and the retail price was $30CAD. Yes, 2014 is a better vintage than 2015 but the market price in other countries differs only by $2 between these two vintages. Someone is value billing the proletariat. Come on man. Kathleen and Justin already take most of our money and Finance Minister Bill wants more. Cut us a break.

If you are a collector, I think that this wine would age gracefully. If want to serve this wine now then please chill it only slightly (put it in the fridge for 30 minutes) and decant it at least 30 minutes before serving. Your efforts will be rewarded.

The $24 Château Ampélia 2015 Merlot/Cabernet Franc —VINTAGES#: 191171 is a wine for collectors only. Taste this wine now only if you want an educational experience. All the components of a decent Bordeaux are present but they are like a choir that has just begun singing together. Decanting will not help and don’t waste fatty-seared flesh on this wine. It needs ten years of age and in 2025 or later I think you will be pleased with your $24 investment. In Europe you will pay the same price for this wine, which means it’s a steal here in the People’s Republic.

Can’t wait 10 years? Then go buy the $42 Château Verdignan 2005 Bordeaux Red —VINTAGES#: 87304. If you don’t have prior experience with aged Bordeaux then this is your chance to gain an understanding of that taste profile. The local wine critics think that this wine is clumsy and tired. Our little tasting group disagrees.

I’m a big fan of the $60 Torres Mas La Plana Cabernet Sauvignon 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon —VINTAGES#: 129676. This a delicious and complex cab. The extensive tasting notes published in the Vintages catalog do a good job describing this wine. Thanks to Doctor C, who opened the 1994 vintage of this wine, we could taste where this wine will be in 15+ years. We sat around the table and treated our glass of 94 La Plana like the “my precious” ring in the movie. A tear shed down my eye when my glass was empty. Buy and cellar this wine if you are able.

The $31 Trimbach Réserve Riesling 2013 —VINTAGES#: 247023 is a child that need coaching and encouragement to come out to play. It is closed and only shows its true color with lots of air. This is a textbook dry Alsace Riesling that would shine after 10 years in the cellar. Like the Jean-Marc Brocard, if want to consume this wine now please chill it only slightly (put it in the fridge for 30 minutes) and decant it at least 30 minutes before serving.

Wines to consider

The $16 Vinum Africa Chenin Blanc 2016 —VINTAGES#: 739995 has a great nose, is nice and dry and has pleasant tropical fruit flavors. It is simple so the tasting notes overstate the case. This is a wine for your dock or your deck. It is sipper and you’ll likely tire of it after a glass or two.

The $17 Domaine de La Baume Elisabeth 2016 Viognier —VINTAGES#: 438796 is a tropical fruit driven wine with floral elements and some minerality. It’s too fruity for my taste but the fruit-forward nature may be up your alley.

The $46 Château Mont-Redon Châteauneuf-du-Pape 2012 Red Blend —VINTAGES#: 959627 is a classic & elegant Châteauneuf-du-Pape with cherry fruit and cedar spices. I have enjoyed decades-old bottles of wine from this producer so I will be acquiring a couple of bottles for my cellar and will keep them for 10 years. If you consume this wine now make sure you decant it at least an hour in advance of serving. This wine finishes hot due to high alcohol levels. It’s a shame as this wine would be more enjoyable without that burning finish. Some blame global warming. I blame the wine critic Robert Parker. I’m not afraid of saying that his love of high-alcohol wines has not done the wine world a favor.

Wines to avoid

The $20 Valldosera Brut Nature Cava —VINTAGES#: 311738 is a simple dry sparkler with citrus notes and decent acidity. It’s boring and something you and your guests will tire of quickly. The tasting notes of one the local wine critics are nonsense. “It’s almost in the league of Champagne”. Seriously? That’s a pretty messed up comment.

The $29 Roger & Didier Raimbault Sancerre 2016 Sauvignon Blanc —VINTAGES#: 82255  is a fruit forward wine with lots of green apple flavors. It’s a good wine but it’s not worth the $29 the KGBO wants.

The $25 Château Sénéjac Bordeaux —VINTAGES#: 426668 s over oaked and if you like that style then decant this wine and serve it with fatty red meats. I doubt that this wine would age as gracefully as the Château Ampélia.

 

Our story so far (with apologies to Mario Puzo) :

In the office of Chairman Wynne (Premier of the People’s Republic of Ontario and for this story she will also be known as the Godmother), the Godmother, her consigliere, and Finance Minister Charles Sousa are discussing control over all things vice in the republic.

Charlie: Why did you ask me if something was wrong when I came in?

The Godmother: I can sense that something is troubling you. I thought you were going to tell me that you had something to get off your conscience.

Charlie: It’s our plan to use the LCBO to distribute cannabis. It troubles me.

The Godmother: With the LCBO we got control of the booze supply, with the Ontario Lottery Corporation we got control over gambling, and Pretty Boy Trudeau in Ottawa came through for us. Thanks to him, we now take control over drugs. What’s your problem Charile?

Charlie: How do we explain this to the people?

The Godmother: Christ Charlie, that’s easy. When it comes to wine, we tell ‘em that the LCBO is there to protect people and they buy that bull shit. We tell ‘em they need protection. We tell ‘em that we have to keep their babies from getting bad weed just like we tell ’em that we have to protect their babies from bad wine.

Charlie: But people are smoking weed now. No one is dying from bad weed. People are dying from opioids, not weed.

The Godmother: Come on Charlie. If Pretty Boy has taught us something it’s that we don’t have to do anything. We just have to say that we’ll do something. We tell ‘em it’s for their own good. We just have to say it.

Charlie: How do we shut down the existing weed dispensaries? There are hundreds in Toronto alone.

The Godmother: The coppers Charlie. The coppers work for us remember? We tell our boys and girls in blue to shut ‘em down. They have to do it Charlie. They are on our payroll. These mom-and-pop places are going down. It’s easy and we tell ‘em that it’s for their own protection. Work with me. Let’s talk business, okay?

Charlie: Let’s talk business.

The Godmother: We’ve now got control of the booze, gambling, and drugs. Right? We need control over the boards, the tricks, the rubs and the tugs, the strippers too.

Charlie: Pretty Boy Trudeau will never give us control over prostitution. It’s impossible.

Consigliere: Difficult but not impossible. Pretty Boy is one of us. We’ll need to give him a cut but he’ll cooperate. He’s part of the family.

The Godmother: Difficult but not impossible. You see Charlie, give Pretty Boy a call. Start working on it. I want the hookers working for me. Make it happen.

[Charles leaves the room]

The Godmother: Charlie is a problem.

Consigliere: Don’t worry Godmother. Tonight Charlie sleeps with the fishes.

*********************

My how times have changed. And, just when you thought we had enough government in the economy (the Macdonald-Laurier Institute estimates that government in Canada is about 64% of our GDP) we now know that we will get more. We are ⅓ of our GDP away from truly being a People’s Republic.

Joking aside, if you want to read a serious article on the connection between Ontario’s planned cannabis distribution system and the KGBO (a.k.a., the LCBO) I’d recommend reading Chris Selley’s excellent article (Ontarians got the marijuana retail system they deserve).

Onto something wine…If you are concerned about high levels of alcohol in wine then I think you will appreciate reading this article from Decanter magazine.

And, onto specifics on the September 16 Vintage release…

Outstanding wines

The $60 Duval Leroy Blanc de Blancs Grand Cru Brut Champagne 2006 —VINTAGES#: 482828 is your opportunity to acquire a vintage Champagne at the price of most entry non-vintage Champagnes. There is a lot going on in this wine with brioche on the nose, and citrus, pear and apple on the palate. It is delicious. I highly recommend decanting this wine before serving as that air time will brighten your experience. The normal retail price for this wine in the good old USA is $80USD. Stock up.

The $18 Domaine Lafage Cuvée Centenaire 2016 Grenache Blanc Blend —VINTAGES#: 343491 is an outstanding white wine that you can actually buy (that is, there are many bottles available in the KGBO’s system). Tropical fruit, balanced, long finish and an unctuous (oily) mouth feel.  Good stuff.

The $19 Thörle Estate Dry Riesling 2015 —VINTAGES#: 445817 is really good white wine that, unless you can access the three stores in the Republic that have inventory, you cannot buy. Great minerality and fruit on this wine. It would age nicely and develop more character. I really appreciate the low 12.5% level of alcohol. It is available at one store in Toronto, one in Ottawa and one in Oakville. Buy some if you are able.

The $40 Beni di Batasiolo Riserva Barolo 2007 —VINTAGES#: 330704 is a good wine and is good value. Similar vintages (not specifically the 2007) retail for $50USD in the Excited States of America. With this wine you are buying, in the People’s Republic, a 10 year old Barolo that has complexity and is yummy for the same price as our friends in Italy pay. For people that don’t have access to a cellar containing aged Barolo here’s you opportunity for that tasting experience. At dinner last night, this wine held its own against two other (& much more expensive) Nebbiolos and went really well with the Italian food we enjoyed at the restaurant.

Wines to consider

Not willing to part with $60 for the Duval Leroy then consider the $20 Graham Beck Brut Pinot Noir/Chardonnay Sparkling —VINTAGES#: 593483 or the $22 Cave de Lugny Cuvée Millésime Brut Crémant de Bourgogne 2013 —VINTAGES#: 183764. The style of the Beck is drier than the Lugny. The Beck is more mineral forward with citrus and white fruit flavors where the Lugny is more fruit forward and richer in style.

Can’t afford or cannot find the $40 Beni di Batasiolo? Then consider the $23.50 Castello di Neive Barbaresco DOCG Nebbiolo —LCBO#: 160143. This is a general-list wine, which means that you will not find it in the Vintages section of your KGBO store. It will be shelved in the main section of the store and is also available for home delivery. The tasting group bought this wine to contrast it to the other Nebbiolo based wines in the Vintages release. It could use a couple of years of age in the bottle but if you decant this wine an hour before serving you will be pleased with the contents of your glass. This wine retails for $30USD in the Excited States so you could expect (after exchange and LCBO markup) to pay as much as $60CAD in the Republic.

The $20 Yaso Tinta de Toro 2012 Tempranillo —VINTAGES#: 377499 is a balanced and interesting wine with nice structure and good fruit. It’s a good food wine and a good choice as your house wine.

Wines to avoid

Despite the favorable reviews from the local wine critics I would avoid the $20 Bernard-Massard Brut Cuvée de L’Écusson —VINTAGES#: 970970.  The wine comes across as sweet and simple. Your frat-house-party days are behind you.

The $22 Louis Max Beaucharme Chardonnay Bourgogne 2014 —VINTAGES#: 492900 had a muted nose and was a pretty simple wine.  There are better choices.

I would buy the$34 Adriano Marco e Vittorio Sanadaive Barbaresco 2013 Nebbiolo —VINTAGES#: 497909  only if I planned to cellar it for five or more years. The wine needs to come together and the tannins need to settle down. You could decant this wine for several hours and serve it with fat-rich foods to tame things but I would spend the extra $6 and buy the Beni di Batasiolo or save $10 and buy the Castello di Neive.

Our story so far is not a story at all. I learned this week that Pennsylvania’s liquor board is in the midst of a bribery investigation. My brain failed to find a way to find humorous satire in this news. Sorry.

You see, the People’s Republic of Canada is not the only country where the government controls the distribution of alcoholic beverages. For example, control boards exist in the Scandinavian countries. According to Wikipedia, seventeen states in the Excited States of America exercise some degree of government liquor distribution control. Pennsylvania is a state that operates with an approach that is very similar to the KGBO (a.k.a., the LCBO). I visited a Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (PLCB) store this summer and could not help noticing the eerie similarities to the KGBO.

The scandal at the PLCB is a serious “pay to play” scheme. Alcohol producers and distributors used bribes (cash, trips, gifts, meals, sporting events and adult entertainment) to influence the PLCB’s decisions. Millions of dollars of fines have been handed out and people are facing jail time. Something is rotten, at least in Pennsylvania. https://www.wine-searcher.com/m/2017/08/pay-to-play-scandal-exposed

The PLCB is one of the USA’s largest wine buyer, exclusively making purchases for the state with the sixth largest population in the union. This should sound familiar to the citizens of the People’s Republic of Ontario, where the KGBO buys the wine for the most populous province is the dominion. Lead me not into temptation.

If a similar scandal emerges in Canada let’s hope it is not our normal low standards. I mean, was I the only one that was bored to tears with the Duffy affair?

Outstanding wines

Margan Family Hunter Valley Sémillon 2016 —VINTAGES#: 493338, $20, has an intriguing nose with a hint of smoke, great stone and tropical fruit flavors, acidity and length. A wine with complexity. You can age this wine or drink it now. Lovely.

Esprit Gassier 2016 Rosé —VINTAGES#: 490839, $20, has just about everything I look for in a Rosé. There is balanced red and citrus fruit, it is dry, good acidity and a touch of tannin on the finish. A really good Rosé.

Lealtanza Reserva 2011 Tempranillo —VINTAGES#: 208223, $20, has it all together, great fruit, complexity and structure at a great price (our friends in the Excited States pay $25USD for this wine). The red wine to buy in this release if you are able.

Wines to consider

Acrobat Pinot Noir 2014 —VINTAGES#: 421149, $30, is a fruit forward and balanced new world Pinot Noir. It’s a bit pricey (sells for $15USD in the Excited States) but a decent wine if you are a fan of Oregon Pinot Noir.

Domäne Wachau Terrassen Federspiel Riesling 2015 —VINTAGES#: 491902, $22, a wine where the published tasting notes do a pretty good job describing this wine (lots of citrus, good acidity). It’s too fruity for my taste but it was a wine that was appreciated and enjoyed by many of Sunday’s tasters.

Paul Jaboulet Aîné Les Jalets Crozes-Hermitage 2014 Shiraz/Syrah —VINTAGES#: 489443, $27, a wine where the published tasting notes describes the wine as having “rustic complexity”. We found it to be quite sophisticated and a polished Northern Rhone. It is a good price for a wine from this region and a fair price when compared to the amount my friends in the USA pay. A word of caution..the first bottle we opened was corked and the second bottle had a trace of funk on the nose. If you buy it be on guard for that smell of wet cardboard, have a backup bottle, and be prepared to return any flawed bottle for a refund.

Brancaia Chianti Classico 2015 Sangiovese —VINTAGES#: 519173, $25, needs air time to show its stuff. So give it an hour in a decanter before consuming. The wine slightly disappoints as the taste drops off noticeably in the mid-palate. Putting that aside, it’s an okay Chianti for your dinner table at an okay price.

Morgadio da Torre Alvarinho 2015 —VINTAGES#: 960955, $19, is an dry, enjoyable wine with bright fruit and good acidity. It’s a good patio wine.

La Chablisienne Chablis Beauroy 1er Cru 2014 Chardonnay —VINTAGES#: 490110, $35, is another wine that needs air time to show its stuff. So decanting this wine before consuming will result is a nice Chablis experience. The $35 price is reasonable for a Premier Cru Chablis.

 

Wines to avoid

 

The Foreign Affair Unoaked Chardonnay 2016 —VINTAGES#: 519009, $24, made using a partial appassimento process (a process where some of the grapes are dried before alcohol fermentation). While loved by the local wine critics no one in our tasting group enjoyed this wine.

 

 

Domaine Lafage Cuvée Nicolas Vieilles Vignes Grenache Noir 2015 —VINTAGES#: 354191, $17, is a jammy, fruity pie, fruit bomb that I didn’t enjoy.

Our story so far: At KGBO (a.k.a., the LCBO) headquarters a small group has gathered to plan the August 5 Vintages release. It is a typical day at KGBO HQ. The smell of totalitarianism is in the air. Dark and dank storm clouds orbit the windowless building even as the sun brightly shines on the rest of the People’s Republic of Ontario.

KGBO Person 1: Okay, before we start the meeting let me remind everyone of our guiding principle…”we are the KGBO and we will tell you what you are allowed to buy today”.

KGBO Person 2: And, with the timing of the August 5 release this is a great time to apply our principle.

KGBO Person 1: How so?

KGBO Person 2: Well, August 5 falls on the important August long weekend in the Republic. People will be going to the cottage. They will need wine to sip on their docks. People will be having BBQs and parties. More wine needs. N’est-ce pas?

KGBO Person 1: So we develop a plan to get great wines for people to buy!

KGBO Person 2: Christ Almighty, NO! This is a golden opportunity.

KGBO Person 1: For what?

KGBO Person 2: To get rid of our crap. Those poor sods are our forced and captive customers. On that weekend, they will be desperate for vino. They will not care if the wine is good or bad. They’ll line up and buy whatever we put out. They havvvve to get through the long weekend. They have no choice but to buy our crap.

KGBO Person 1: And, we will maximize our profits for the Republic. General Secretary Wynn will be pleased.

KGBO Person 2: Indeed we will please our Sith Lord and the dark side will continue our dominance.

**********************

You may have noticed that I didn’t post comments on the August 5th Vintages release. After several passes through the catalogue, the wines failed to inspire or interest me. I had self-doubt about this conclusion but when I checked with other people, they expressed the same view. That weekend, I visited several KGBO stores, noted the steady flow of human traffic but on each visit I left the store empty handed. There was nothing to write about.

Thankfully, with the August 19 Vintages release, the side of light came through. The Force changed things for the good as there are several great buys in this release. Oh, and to further combat the dark side, my friend Yoda volunteered to write the reviews.

Outstanding wines

d’Arenberg The Hermit Crab Viognier/Marsanne 2016 (VINTAGES#: 662775) $18. Tropical fruit this wine has. Full of flavor, bright and fresh it is. A home run this wine is. Delicious.

Château de Sérame Minervois 2010 (VINTAGES#: 480889) $17. A well balanced 7 year old wine this is. Black and dried fruit and chocolate I taste. Supported with nice acidity and tannins the flavors are. The truck you should backup.

Graham Beck Brut Rosé 2011 (VINTAGES#: 4085) $22. On the nose, strawberry toast I smell. Balance, the wine’s acidity nicely provides. Lovely, the citrus fruit flavors is. A great value sparkling wine this is.

Tenuta Roveglia Vigne di Catullo Lugana Riserva 2013 (VINTAGES#: 437004) $25. Decant this wine you must. Across as confused, straight out of the bottle this wine comes. Herh Herh! With some air time together it comes. A complex, interesting and enjoyable wine.

Alejandro Fernández Dehesa La Granja 2008 Tempranillo (VINTAGES#: 192476) $21. A nine year old wine this is. The spicing from the 2 years in oak, the red and black fruit, the alcohol and tannins coming together they are. Age further this wine will. For $15USD in the Excited States this wine sells (meaning that it could sell for $30 in the People’s Republic of Ontario). Great value this wine is.

Wines to consider

Les Neiges de l’Agly Vermentino/Viogner 2013 (VINTAGES#: 512566) $20. Pleasant flavors in this wine find you will . To me, a curiosity the blend is. The nose your interest will peak. Elements of apple and pear fruit and some floral attributes the wine contains. A novelty and a good conversation wine it is.

Domaine de Vervine Vacqueyras 2014 (VINTAGES#: 494856) $25. A red fruit forward wine this is. Vegetal notes and lavender I sense. Time in the bottle it needs? Not sure if it is worth it I am.

Paul Jaboulet Aîné Pierre Aiguille Gigondas 2015 (VINTAGES#: 989665) $35. Complex, balanced and elegant this wine is. Quickly in the glass it dies. Ability to age I doubt. Decanting avoid I would. Drink up I would.

Terre Stregate Svelato Falanghina Del Sannio 2015 (VINTAGES#: 486076) $18. A hard wine to describe this is. A wine, your senses stimulate it will. One glass I like. Tire of this wine after that you will.

Gérard Bertrand Grand Terroir La Clape Syrah/Carignan/Mourvèdre 2014 (VINTAGES#: 370262) $19. To its billing a wine that lives up. Nothing special but good value. Tame the wine, red meat dishes would. Unpleasant trace taste of saccharin on the finish there is. An okay wine this is.

Le Secret des Capitelles Saint-Chinian 2014 (VINTAGES#: 156299) $16 My comments, the same as the Gérard Bertrand are. Flavors of figs and cherries there are. An okay wine this is.

Hugh Hamilton The Villain Cabernet Sauvignon 2014 (VINTAGES#: 489880) $27. Big and bold Aussie Cab this wine is. As it should be, everything is. Not a wine that I appreciate. For fans of aussie cabs, a good buy. The dark side in you I sense!

Domaine des Tourterelles Viré Clessé 2015 (VINTAGES#: 489781) $23. A good introduction to Bourgogne this wine is. Exotic fruit, floral notes, good length. A little high alcohol is. Price, a little high I wonder?

Scaia Rosato 2016 (VINTAGES#: 490987) $18. Nice acidity and some tannins this Rose has. Nice fruit and the off putting candy flavor found on many roses is there not (although there is a slight residual taste of saccharin). Hmmmm. If in need of a Rose a decent buy it is.

Wines to avoid

Château Canet Vieilles Vignes Minervois 2015 (VINTAGES#: 494138) $17. Technically correct this wine is. Personality it lacks. Meh I say. Better choices the catalogue contains.

Elgin Vintners Pinot Noir 2013 (VINTAGES#: 512442) $20. A berry fruit bomb with a pepper finish this wine is. My cup of tea it is not.

Ferrari Trento Brut Sparkling Wine (VINTAGES#: 352153) $25. Getting past the acidity I cannot. Food this wine may help. Why bother still I wonder? Other choices there are.

The Originals Chardonnay 2015 (VINTAGES#: 514810) $20. Smoke on the nose I smell. Heavy wood treatment I taste. Old board I think I drank. Unpleasant bitter finish there is. Avoid.

Kuhlmann-Platz Pinot Gris 2015 (VINTAGES#: 224204) $19. Out of balance this wine is. Too sweet it is (acidity is insufficient to balance the residual sugar). The tasting notes the dark side did write. A “delightful sipper” it is not.

Alain Geoffroy Beauroy Chablis 1er Cru 2015 (VINTAGES#: 733501) $32. Unfortunately, disappoint this wine does. Classic Chablis flavors there are. Finish, a long time it lasts. A noticeable dip in the mid-palate that creates disappointment, there is. Worth the money it is not.

 

 

Our story so far

Wine critic and cigar aficionado James Suckling needs help. His followers are diminishing. His social media presence non-existent. He is convinced that the second issue holds the key to the first and he is calling one of the favors owed to him by TheMuddler.

James: I need more exposure…Facebook, twitter, Instagram. Okay MuddleMan, you need to help me.

TheMuddler: Me? Help? With social media? What do I know about social media exposure? I write a silly blog with 9 followers.

James: You? You know shit. But you do know Justin. He’s the king of social media. Christ even Trump loves him. You need to call Justin and get his advice on what I need to do.

TheMuddler: I barely know the man. He came once to my Vintage tastings and frankly it was a disaster.

James: But, he came, he tasted wine, he owes you. Give him a call.

[A couple of days go by…]

James: Christ, what took so long? No forget that. What did Justin say?

TheMuddler: He said that you have to invest in socks.

James: Socks!? What the fuck does that mean?

TheMuddler: Well, as I understand it let’s say that you are reviewing a Fuzion Malbec and you decide to give it a score of (say) 94 points.

James: Sounds plausible…go on.

TheMuddler: Instead of handing out those gold stickers to put on bottles you get the Fuzion logo along with the 94 embroidered on your socks. Then you get yourself a photo op, you pull up your pant leg, your sock and your smiling face is captured in a photo, you post, you tweet, Huffington Post picks it up and Bob’s Your Uncle you are a hit. Apparently, it’s that easy.

James: Embroidered socks? I need a Fuzion Malbec embroidered sock?

TheMuddler: Well, Justin kind-of owns the embroidered sock “brand”. And he’s cuter and has better hair than you. Do be a copycat. Gloves will come across as old and stuffy. You need something young and fresh. If I were you I’d go with condoms, cloth condoms to place over wine bottles. On a cloth-wine-bottle condom, there will lots of space so you could include a tagline too.

James: Such as?

TheMuddler: Such as “James Suckling – protecting wine from low scores.”

James: Do you know any sweatshops that I could call?

**************

The KGBO (a.k.a. the LCBO) our all-knowing-and-caring-government monopoly, had a release last Saturday. Once again, Muddle Central was active on Sunday afternoon buying and tasting wines and trying to determine the bottles worthy of your hard-earned money.

Outstanding wines

The $17 Domaine des Tourterelles Macon Villages 2015 (VINTAGES#: 489799) is a winner. The Vintages panel must have stopped at the medical marijuana dispensary before tasting this wine. It’s not “soft and charming” but a Chardonnay with some body, ripe fruit and an enjoyable slightly bitter finish. Interesting wine and good value.

The $22 Bernard Fouquet Le Petit Clos Dry Vouvray 2015 (VINTAGES#: 489468) is delicious. Solid tropical and apple fruit, good acidity and a long finish. A home run here. This wine also belongs in the collector’s corner as aging it a few years would be rewarding.

I can’t say enough good things about the $47 Produttori del Barbaresco Barbaresco 2012 (VINTAGES#: 708826). I love the Nebbiolo grape and the cooperative that makes this wine provides the world with a good product at a good price. During our tasting, we experienced the classic Nebbiolo nose of Roses, tar and cherry fruit. You’ll not tire of smelling this wine. On the palate, this well balanced wine also delivered. Suggest that you decant this wine at least 2 hours before serving. This wine also belongs in the collector’s corner as it will age and evolve for many years.

If you are in the Excited States of America you can buy this wine for $29USD. So, using the double the cost rule (to account for duty, exchange and the exorbitant KGBO markup) one could expect to pay as much as $58 here. Our KGBO is providing good value but they could do better. The 2013 vintage sells in La Belle Province for $37. While it is not the same vintage, the significant price difference illustrates that the LCBO needs to take lessons from the folks running the SAQ. As a monopoly, the SAQ are doing a better job serving their customers.

Collector’s corner

My best way to describe tasting the $38 Pearl Morissette Cuvée Dix-Neuvième Chardonnay 2014 (VINTAGES#: 303602) is that you are in for an experience. Great texture, fruit, aromas, and balance with a touch of oxidation. We have to pay for good Canadian wine and this one is worth the price. There are very few bottles left in the KGBO system. If you are not in Ottawa you likely will have to ask for an in-store transfer or contact the winery.

I am not a fan of Ontario Riesling and a friend once told me that Riesling made by Charles Barker might change my mind. I find most Ontario Riesling to be one dimensional with a flavor profile that reminds me of canned apple juice. My friend was right about the $35 Charles Baker Picone Vineyard Riesling 2013 (VINTAGES#: 241182). It’s a sweet wine but the acidity balances it out. There are apple flavors but they are not canned and there is other citrus fruit flavors present. Great length. Buy this wine to show your friends that Ontario Riesling can be good. I can bring myself to buy a bottle but with a $35 price tag I cannot rationalize adding it to my collection (for example, I compare this wine to the $21 Dr. Hermann Erdener Treppchen Riesling Spätlese 2010 (VINTAGES#: 181917) that was part of the last Vintage release and conclude the Erdener is significantly better value).

Value wines to consider

The $17 Cathedral Cellar Brut Sparkling 2010 2010 (VINTAGES#: 296426) is a good value sparkler. The wine offers some complexity, including having fruit components other than apple (apple being a common flavor profile for a sparkling wine that is not from Champagne). This wine would be popular at your party and would not break the bank.

The $18 Xavier Côtes du Rhône 2015 (VINTAGES#: 297317) would be a good wine to accompany food from your BBQ. Good berry fruit, smoky, pleasant floral aspects and decent tannins. I experienced heat on the finish so I’m guessing the declared 14.5% alcohol is on the low side.

On a side-note, I picked up an order of Clos Mogador 2013 and noticed that the KGBO placed a sticker over the 15% declared alcohol level. The sticker indicates an alcohol level of 16.3%. I struggle to imagine how I will enjoy this wine so it may be going back. I blame Packer for encouraging producers to make wine in this style. These levels of alcohol are such a turn off. We are not high-school students looking for a cheap buzz.

If you are looking for a crowd pleaser for a gathering or a house red wine consider the $20 La Tremenda Monastrell 2012 (VINTAGES#: 490011). Ignore the essay-styled tasting notes. Good fruit, good structure and acidity. A bit high in alcohol.

Wines to avoid

The $20  Villa Sandi Cuvée Oris Valdobbiadene Prosecco Superiore (VINTAGES#: 738542) does not live up to the hype in the tasting notes. It’s too floral and sweet for my taste but if you like that style it’s an okay buy.

The $27 A To Z Wineworks Pinot Noir 2014 (VINTAGES#: 229781) is primarily a fruity new world Pinot Noir that lacks structure. My palate is not sophisticated enough to pick up the mushroom, smoke and spices described in the tasting notes (and others involved in the tasting agreed).

The $35 Luca Malbec 2014 (VINTAGES#: 167312) is a nice Malbec but not worth the asking price. This wine is aimed at the lover of Argentina Malbec who has a large budget. I find it interesting that one wine critic describes this wine as sophisticated and another says that it lacks lacks some elegance. I do appreciate the honestly when they publish both views.

The $18 Arboleda Single Vineyard Sauvignon Blanc 2015 (VINTAGES#: 510339) is…well..in my view…awful. I couldn’t get past the vegetable nose that reminded me of green tomato chow-chow. What I smelled and tasted could not differ more than James’s tasting notes. If you are a fan of this style of Sauvignon Blanc or are looking for a wine to serve with a hotdog smothered with chow-chow and relish then with Bud’s For You. At our tasting, most of the wine went down the sink.

The $30 Castelforte Amarone della Valpolicella 2013 (VINTAGES#: 496414) comes across as fruity and sweet. Fans of Amarone would be better served with paying more for a wine more representative of this style and region. You are worth it.

I could not get past the predominance of dill on the $17 Las Cepas Costalarbrol 2013 (VINTAGES#: 483404). In fairness, the local wine critics like this wine as did a couple of people at the tasting. Dill is not uncommon on red Rioja wine and I just don’t enjoy wines that display this attribute.

 

 

The Muddler is now traveling in the Excited States and will soon be off to taste wine in France and Spain. My next posting will be in July. In the meantime, you’ll have to muddle through the vast KGBO offerings somehow.

Our storey so far:

The year is 2018 and hard times have fallen on the citizens of the People’s Republic of Ontario. Wine, now considered to be a staple of life by the good people of the Republic, has soared in price. Wine prices have roughly doubled in the last decade, rising faster than inflation, and have sparked increasing anger among Ontarians. The elite of the Politburo are discussing action to take…

General Secretary Wynne: Guys, we’re in deep shit and we need creative thinking and bold action. We’re not leaving today until we have a plan to reduce wine prices in the Republic. Ideas?

Comrade Sousa (Finance Minister): Christ, this is a tough one. Everyone knows we screwed up. I mean think of everything that has happened at the LCBO, increased margins and extra taxes. We’ll need a magician to figure a way out of this mess.

General Secretary Wynne: Man, Charles you are a downer today. I’m guessing that someone pissed in your breakfast Cornflakes. Pointing out the obvious is not helpful. Can you help me find my nose? Come on man, we need ideas and fresh thinking.

Comrade Glenn Thibeault (Minister of Energy): Okay, okay no need to get to work. This problem is not so hard. We dealt with such matters before.

General Secretary Wynne: Huh?

Comrade Thibeault: Yeah, here’s what we do…we set up an entity and give it some fancy name… let’s call in the Wine Investment Master Partnership.

Comrade Sousa: Isn’t that WIMP?

General Secretary Wynne: Shut your pie hole Chuck and let Glenn speak.

Comrade Thibeault: WIMP will have the government’s backing and will borrow money. WIMP will use the money they borrow to reduce the price that the Proletariat pay for wine. On their bills wine bills they will see a 25% price reduction. We’ll need a catchy name for it. Ummmm

Comrade Sousa: How about a “global adjustment”.

Comrade Thibeault: Perfect. The Proletariat will get a “global adjustment” that reduces the price of the wine they buy by 25%. And, we’ll do this adjustment for 30 years.

General Secretary Wynne: 30 years and then what happens?

Comrade Thibeault: Well, then it all reverses. The global adjustment become a charge. We’ll have to call it something else, a term that appeals to the people…something environmental…I know we’ll blame it on the organic natural wine craze that is catching on. The government made a big investment in the infrastructure that supports natural wine and the “natural wine adjustment” will more equitably distribute the cost of this investment over time. Use the words “natural”, infrastructure, and environment to explain the adjustment and people wouldn’t question it.

Comrade Sousa: In 30 years I’ll be in the old age home eating pablum and watching Three’s Company reruns. I wouldn’t give a shit about the price of wine then. It’s a brilliant plan Glenn.

Comrade Thibeault: This ain’t my first rodeo.

News Release
Ontario Cutting Wine Bills by 25 Per Cent
System Restructuring Delivers Lasting Relief to Households Across Province

March 2, 2018 9:40 A.M.Office of the Premier
Ontario is lowering wine bills by 25 per cent on average as part of a significant system restructuring that will address long-standing policy challenges and ensure greater fairness.

In related news, Sam Euthanasia, World’s Oldest Wine Critic, praised the People’s Republic of Ontario’s plan as being visionary and brilliant. He added “I’ll be dead before the “natural wine adjustment” is put into place. Giddy up baby.

As a friend once told me…Rickee, if a joke has to be explained, it’s just not funny. So if the humor is lost on you then I will not waste your time trying to explain the context. Anyone living in Ontario will get it though.

On a serious note, the MuddleTasters identified several wines in the May 13 Vintages release that are worthy of your hard earned money.

Let’s start with a pound-the-table buy. If you are a fan of Bordeaux blends use www.lcbo.com to find the store that has supply of the $20 Grand Vin de Glenelly Red 2010 (360339). The LCBO tasting panel did a great job in the description of the tasting notes “The 2010 is an impressive, deliciously balanced wine with great integration of all parts – it offers superb black fruit, cherry and cassis in a concentrated and structured package. This is a wine of significance at an incredible value.” I would add that we decanted this wine for an hour prior to the first taste and tasted the wine over the course of several hours. The wine just keep getting better and better. Buy a case if you are able. Save some bottles from the case for aging if you have discipline. This wine is a Bordeaux experience at a fraction of the price.

If you want a good white from this release you’ll have to pay for $40 for the Caves Jean et Sébastien Dauvissat Montmains Chablis 1er Cru 2012 (485383). We tried to find some value whites but the others we tasted we not good (more on that topic later). This Chablis is a fine wine with all the complexities and flavors that make White Burgundy distinctive and special. The local wine critics do not like this one but we disagree.

We tasted two Rosés, both cost $15, both come from Spain. I prefer the Izadi Larrosa Premium Rosé 2016 (490961) to the Muga Rosé 2016 (603795). Yes, if you have read previous posts, you know that I am a huge fan of all thing Muga but the 2016 doesn’t stack up with their prior vintages. This one lacks acidity so don’t believe the KGBO’s tasting notes. It’s a qualifier, for your deck or dock or your balcony, and very easy to guzzle. There is a candy element to the Muga’s nose that I found distracting and unpleasant. The Izadi has more character and balance with elements that work together and would be a great food wine.

I’d encourage you to explore at least one of the Sakis that were included in this release. You may believe that Saki is that harsh alcoholic mixture served hot from your experience at your local Sushi restaurant. That stuff is crap. Decent Saki is served chilled in the same manner that you serve white wine. The $13 (for a 300ml bottle) solid buy is the Sho Chiku Bai Premium Junmai Ginjo Sake (960088). It’s delicious and the tasting notes of “fresh coconut, parsnip, horseradish and rice pudding with a touch of lychee” are pretty accurate. The $30 (for a 720ml bottle) Hanagaki Junmai Sake (482745) is also a solid choice but the Sho Chiku Bai is more sophisticated, a better wine, and great value. Saki is not just for Sushi. We enjoyed these wines with cheese so don’t be afraid to experiment.

The $27 Domaine de la Colline St-Jean Vacqueyras 2014 (38661) is a delicious red rhone blend. If you are a fan of southern Rhone wines this Bud’s for you. The posted tasting notes are pretty accurate with great fruit, licorice and pepper elements. The alcohol level is only 13.5%, and a most welcomed relief from the mouth burn one often experiences when sipping southern Rhone red wine. A well put together, well balanced, delicious wine for a decent price.

The final red worth considering is the $19 Georges Duboeuf Belles Grives Morgon 2014 (487173). This wine started out in the glass as a disappointment. If you buy it decant or at least have the bottle open for an hour or two before tasting. With some airtime, this wine started to show its stuff. A decent value wine.

Wine to avoid? There are a few. Let start with the $18 Fabre Montmayou Reserva Cabernet Franc 2014 (492736). Tasting over two days yielded raspberry jam and little else. I was so looking forward to this wine being a star because I have experienced wonderful (yet rare) Cab Franc from Argentina. Don’t believe the published tasting notes. They are nonsense.

The $25 Errazuriz Pinot Noir 2015 (494807) is a simple fruit bomb. The tasting notes are getting silly…”Subtle red fruits with hints of earth and wild herbs. Very accomplished indeed, classy. A succulent wine with latent spice and energy. There is real focus and drive here, making it age-worthy.” Come on Decanter magazine. You can do better than that.

Avoid the $15 Les Hauts de Lagarde Bordeaux Blanc 2015 (491720). This wine’s nose is unappealing and the taste delivers nothing to change your mind. Critic Voss gave this wine a 90 and the local critics thought this wine was good value. We had a bad bottle? Maybe, but I wouldn’t risk it.

The Portuguese producer Quinta Da Rede had two offers in this release, the $22 white Grande Reserva Branco 2014 (477943) and the $28 red Grande Reserva 2013 (491993). Again, there is a disconnect between what we tasted, the published tasting notes and the reviews of the local wine critics, who loved both of these wines. Our experience was marred by something funky the producer is doing with the wines’ exposure to wood. For the muddlers both wines displayed unpleasant pine wood elements in both the nose and the taste. “It’s like licking the inside of a new piece of IKEA furniture” was the best line of the day. I wish that I was creative enough to come up with that one or sufficiently adventurous to have licked the inside of a end table. To think that one would prefer the Da Rede over the Chablis is kind-of baffling.

 

Our story so far: Rickee aspires to be a wine critic and professional wine critic and cigar aficionado James Suckling agreed to coach him on his writing. Rickee and James are together tasting wine…

James: Okay let’s start with this red wine from Portugal. Look, smell, taste, and tell me something about this wine.

Rickee: Right, it’s color is ruby, it’s clear, I detect some vanilla on the nose, which means the wine seen some wood and the taste [pausing for sip]…the taste is primarily red fruit. It has some tannins that provide some structure but I the tannins don’t hold up to the fruit’s intensity.

James: And, what about acidity? Is there acidity that provides refreshment?

Rickee: Yep. Actually the acidity is probably the best thing about this wine.  

James: So, Rickee, what words would you use to describe this wine?

Rickee: The wine is a basically a raspberry fruit bomb that lacks structure.

James: [in a pensive tone] Ooookay, I see we have some work to do. People don’t like reading negativity, wineries don’t like negativity, nobody likes negativity, and you can make money with negativity. Understand? So you have to word things in a more positive way than “fruit bomb”.

Rickee: For example?

James: For example, you could write that the wine has “ripeness” and instead “lacks structure” you could say that the wine has “soft tannins”. And, remember the wine’s acidity. You were positive about that aspect of this wine so you could write that the wine is “juicy”.

Rickee: I guess all that is “kind-of” true but I’m struggling to understand how the positive approach helps people. Normal people just want to go to the store, avoid bad wine, and buy something decent at a reasonable price. To be honest, I’m quite confused right now.

James: Trust me. I’ve never used the words “fruit bomb” and my success as a wine critic speaks for itself. Let’s try another wine and see what you think. Here a young Nebbiolo that I have decanted over an hour ago. Pour yourself a glass and describe the wine to me.

Rickee: The wine appears clear and bright, it has cherry aromas and, on the palate, yes, the cherries come through in the taste and there is some spiciness aspects as well.

James: Go on.

Rickee: The spice is minty and it has menthol aspects. The tannins on the finish are really aggressive. Going back to the wine’s flavor, I’ve experienced this combination of flavors previously. Give me a minute or two to think about it.

James: So, see we can work with that. You could write that the wine has “red cherry flavors” and the floral aspects are “rose petals” and the menthol is “juniper”. The wine made you think about an experience and that’s a good thing. So, you could say that the wine is “thought-provoking”. The tannins, well, the tannins are “muscular” and therefore would work well with “meaty pasta dishes or grilled red meats”.

Rickee: [with great enthusiasm] I got! I figured it out James! This wine is best described as “Hall’s Cherry Cough Drops” with tannins that make your mouth pucker.

James: Don’t give up your day job. You’re fucking hopeless.

The April 29 Vintages release is rather bizarre. I thought about directing the satire of this post towards the disconnect between the KGBO’s (a.k.a the LCBO) selected theme on showcasing wines from Washington, Oregon and Germany and the lack of appeal in the actual product offerings of wine from these fantastic wine producing areas. How so? Well, about 10 people participate our bi-weekly tastings and we taste about 20 wines. People read the catalog and pick a wine or two (or more) that interests them. They buy those wines and bring them to the tasting. So, one would expect that the wines that people buy for the tasting would be dominated by wines from the KGBO’s theme. Sadly not. One lonely wine from Washington was included in Sunday’s tasting. To our tiny market segment, the KGBO’s thematic product offerings lacked appeal.

Let’s start with the winners.

We tasted two whites. Both come from Burgundy. Both are decent but not fantastic wines. I preferred the $27 Domaine De La Denante Saint Véran Les Maillettes 2014 (491738) to the $23 Domaine Le Verger Chablis 2015 (181289). I favor minerality over fruit and the La Denante delivers on that profile better. It has stone fruit flavors (peaches) and honey flavor on the finish. If you favor fruit over minerals than save yourself $4 and buy the Le Verger. This wine has a tropical fruit flavor profile with minerality in the background. 

The Release also contained several Rosés and we tasted the $19 Carte Noire Rosé 2016 (319384) and the $20 Brancaia Rosé 2016 (490953). Both are decent wines. The Carte Noire is a lively wine with red fruit flavors. It has a slight cotton candy taste on the finish that I found distracting. Still a decent wine that I enjoyed so I struggle to understand the local wine critics panning of this wine. I will admit that I preferred the Brancaia. This Rosé has some structure (some tannins on the finish) and I have learned that I favor Rosés made in this style (dry, nice fruit & acid, a little pucker on the finish). To me, the Brancaia delivered those elements. I could drink this wine on its own and the profile is such that it would be a food friendly wine.

The $17 El Maestro Sierra 15-Year-Old Oloroso Sherry (330571) was really enjoyable and a hit will all the tasters. Sadly, Sherry congers up images of professors in tweed, octogenarian ladies sipping something sweet and syrupy , and Niles and Frasier Crane being pretentious. The Sierra is dry and complex and would work with many Spanish style foods. You have to like oxidized wines to like Sherry and, if you do, this wine a real treat.

There are two clear red wine winners to highlight.

The first is the $30 Urbina Selección 1999 (482158). Yes, thanks to Spanish wine practices and the KGBO you can buy a wine that is nearly 20 years old that’s ready to drink. Like most old wines, this wine started out in the glass with leathery aromas and flavors. With some time the exposure to air brought out the fruit flavors. Once you open the bottle, don’t be in a hurry to drink this wine and instead enjoy the experience of the wine evolving and changing in your glass. Do be in a hurry to buy this wine. There not much left in the KGBO system and you may want to request an in-store transfer. If you don’t have access to aged wine here’s a great opportunity to partake in that experience.

If you are able to store and age wine then head to your KGBO store to buy the $30 Marqués de Cáceres Gran Reserva 2009 (976670). Doctor C brought the 2004 vintage of this wine from his cellar, so we were able to contrast the 04 & 09 in our tasting. The 09 is a good wine now but the contrast illustrated that it will be a better wine in a few years. Like an awkward teenager, the 09 is a little disjointed presently and needs time for everything to grow into place.  I’ve enjoyed aged Marqués de Cáceres Gran Reserva from the 80s, 90s, & 00’s and this wine has not disappointed.

Value red wines included the $21 Torres Celeste Crianza 2012 (210872), the $23 Burgo Viejo Licenciado Reserva 2008 (370023), the $18 Dios Ares Crianza 2012 (305912), and the $17 Luis Cañas Crianza 2014 (336719). All are decent wines for your table and likely would be crowd pleasing wines.

Wines to avoid? Well, there are few that caused us grief.

The $16 Abad Dom Bueno Mencía 2008 (291989) is fruity and spicey and not exciting. The $16 Periquita Reserva 2014 (488007) is a fruit bomb. The $22 Chateau Ste. Michelle Merlot 2014 (486936) is over oaked and just didn’t push our group’s buttons. The $17  Domaine des Houdières Fleurie 2015 (342725) has strong fruit flavor and it’s missing the earthy elements often found in wine from this region. Even though the local wine critics love this wine I would avoid it and look for the Fleuries and Morgons highlighted in my previous blog posts.

But, I saved the best (meaning the worst) for last. The wine that was Hall’s Cherry Cough drops (and the whole group came to that conclusion) was the $24  Renato Ratti Ochetti Langhe Nebbiolo 2015 (475913). We decanted the wine and gave it lots of air time but the taste profile worsened over time and our tolerance eventually expired. The local wine critics loved this wine and gave it great reviews.  We had a bad bottle? Maybe. But, I will not risk my money on this wine.

 

 

 

 

Our story so far:

It’s Saturday April 15th, 2016. The day is special as the KGBO of the People’s Republic of Ontario is releasing a fresh batch of wine. The compliant citizens of the republic are streaming into the sole place they are allowed to have the chance of buying a decent wine. The shelves are full of wine.  These shelves hold a lot of mediocrity. No worries as there is one wine in the store that is quite extraordinary. The KGBO placed a small supply of the 2009 Muga Prado Enea Gran Reserva onto the shelves. A few astute citizens recognize that this bottle might just be a gem. No one knows that this is a special bottle better than Fernando, who is visiting Toronto from Burgos Spain. He knows the Muga winery well. He knows that Prado is a great bottle and, with a slightly smug smile, he places a bottle into his shopping cart.

As Fernandao heads towards the checkout an announcement comes over the PA system. The Prado is oversold and the KGBO is offering $50 compensation for anyone willing to give up their bottle. “Mierda que”, thinks Fernando. I will enjoy this wine with the Brandada de bacalao that I will cook for tonight’s dinner. Three other people accept the offer but Fernando keeps a close eye on his prize as he puts the bottle on the checkout counter.

“Sir, it is KGBO policy that you are to surrender this bottle. This bottle is needed for an important employee tasting this evening.” Fernando is taken back. “No” he declines firmly and then a sudden expression of confusion appears on his well-tanned face. “Sir, we need that bottle for our employees.” Fernando’s confusion increases. In Spain, he buys wine from his friends and no has spoken to him in this tone. The words he is hearing made no sense to him. He grabs the bottle of Prado and walks towards the back of the store. He needs time to think.

When security arrives Fernando shields the bottle like he was protecting an injured child. Alas, passive resistance has its limits. A tazered Fernando cuts his head as he falls to the ground. Stunned and confused he loses his wine and is dragged out of the building. The other patrons capture everything on their phones. They upload their videos and update their Facebook status. The videos go viral.

On Sunday April 16, the president of the KGBO holds a press conference to say that “KGBO policies and procedures were properly followed and the 2009 Muga Prado had elements of ripe blueberry, vanilla, coffee and chocolate and was probably the best Muga he ever tasted.”

*************

Food and glasses are ready in the secret location of the Muddle Bunker beneath King Street in Toronto.

Please excuse the cheesy and opportunistic story but, given current events, I couldn’t think of a better way to mention the Prado. Thanks to Don Billy, the Muddle team did get to taste this great wine. I get the feeling that the security thugs would have tried the same trick with Don Billy. However, they quickly remembered that, as the Godfather of the Toronto Dental Underworld, he can meet force with force. Just as Pompey’s Legends backed away from engaging Caesar, Don Billy marched into Rome and secured us a bottle.

As of Saturday, there was supply in the KGBO system but no bottles remained in the entire republic by the end of that day. It’s a shame as I was hoping that you could have the opportunity to buy one. I was shut out too. Typing the code (743310) into www.lcbo.com results in “no products found.” Let’s hope that we see more of this wine in a future release.

I’d strongly encourage you to find room in your budget for a bottle of the $73 Jacquesson Cuvée No. 739 Extra Brut Champagne (234120). If you are in La Belle Province you can pick this wine up for $71. The 739 is an extraordinary wine at a great price. There is so many things going on in this wine. Delicious and complex. The wine is retailing in the People’s Republic for the same price as in the Excited States of America ($55US). Based on my double rule (doubling the US$ price roughly accounts for exchange, KGBO markup duties and taxes) you could expect to pay as much as $110CAD here.

This wine is a great example of the care we need to use when looking at the numeric scores of wine critics particularly when those scores are being doled out by James Suckling or James Halliday. Suckling gave the 739 wine a 92, practically the same score that he gave to a $16 Chilean Pinot Noir (discussed later) that no one in our group could drink. We fought to have another glass of the 739 and without hesitation dumbed our Echeverria into the spit bucket. I cannot think of a better way to illustrate the difference between a wine scored 92 and one scored 91. Jhezzzz. These scores are not even jokes. The scores are not even jokes because jokes are funny at least some of the time.

The value winner in for sparkling wine in this release is the $20 Conde de Haro Brut Cava 2013 (168559) from Muga. Yes, another good wine from Muga. No, they don’t pay me or give me free wine or pay for trips or are holding my children hostage or have compromising pictures of me. No, I don’t own shares in the company. The posted description of this wine is pretty accurate “Full of bread, toasted almond and apples. Lovely texture, very expressive and full of personality.” Stock up for the summer and send me a thank you note in the fall. This wine retails for $22US in the good-old USA so you are getting a major bargain here in the People’s Republic.

One white wine in this release that is worth your hard-earned money is the $22 Mitchell Watervale Riesling 2014 (487785). Nice acidity, citrus, a bit of floral and a wonderful oily mouth feel that I value. The taste lingers (the wine has good length), it’s dry and does not disappoint. In Australia, this wine retails for $18CAD so, all things considered, the price you are paying here is pretty good.

Another good white wine to purchase is the $16 Muralhas de Monção Vinho Verde 2015 (80374). You may know Vinho Verde as the fun summer wine with a lovely spritz. You buy a bottle for $10 and drink on your deck or dock or whatever. The Muralhas is a Vinho Verde that will open your eyes to the possibility that Vinho Verde can grow up, lose most of that spritz and take on some complexity. The local wine critics think this one is a patio wine but the Muddle team thought that this wine was worthy of a place at your dinner table.

Rose fans should stock up on the $15 Château Lauduc Classic Rosé 2016 (491860). It may be because this wine is primarily Cabernet Franc but for $15 there is some stuff going on in this wine, including some structure (tannins) on the finish and a bit of bitterness. It’s bone dry, has some minerality and red fruit flavors. A word of caution. When we first opened this wine the smell took you directly to funky town. Very unpleasant. If this happens to you (it didn’t happen on my second bottle) decant it first or give it some time in an open bottle and in your glass. The funkiness goes away and you are left with a great value. The local critics felt that this wine was simple. They should have given it more air time.

The good value red wines we tasted from this release was the $20 Domaine des Quatre Vents Fleurie 2014 (2378). This wine pushes a lot of the right buttons. Good fruit, some earthy undernotes, smoke, peppery and decent tannins. It retails for $20US in the Excited States and for $22 in Quebec. Therefore, the price you pay the government here is good value.

The other is the $16 Lorca Selección Monastrell 2008 (380238). Monastrell is the same grape as Mourvedre, and yes, you can go to LCBO and buy a wine that is nearly 10 years old for $16. Dark cherries, Asian spices, smoke, nice firm tannins. It’s a decent and ready to drink…a wine that is a little different. 

Looking for a novelty wine? One that is not drinkable but will generate debate and discussion? Then go buy a bottle of the $16 Montefino Tinto Reserva 2010 (165159). Assemble your guest with the ladies on one side of the room and the gentlemen on the other. Ask them to smell and describe the wine. In our group, the guys said the wine smelled like “used urinal pucks” and “old hockey equipment”. The ladies described the smell as “manly” and “quite interesting”. Attention Calvin Klein…maybe there is a new men’s cologne formula to be had.

The men described the taste as, well, “not good” (after all… what do you expect when tasting something that smells like a used urinal puck). The ladies described the taste as “disappointing…it’s like everyman I met…after I got to know him… he was disappointing”. We managed to recover from this awkward moment (it was kind of awkward because there were men in the room and we apparently smell like old hockey equipment if we are lucky). How? By using the time-tested technique of comic relief by reading out loud the comments from the wine critics “If you’re a fan of more mature wines with complex earth, leather, dried fruit and spice notes, don’t miss this one.” Good times.

In fairness, maybe we got a bad bottle but no one at Saturday’s tasting were in a hurry to test that theory.

Wines that fall into the “okay” category include the:

• $22 Louis Bouillot Perle d’Aurore Brut Rosé Crémant de Bourgogne (48793), which is an okay dry sparkling rose with predominantly cherry flavors
• $14 Casal de Ventozela Espadeiro Rosé 2016 (450841), with primarily strawberry flavours
• $20 Barón de Magaña 2010 (280552), which was okay but tasted old and tired and lacked the appeal that were present in the other wines we tasted

Wines to avoid include the:

• $16 Echeverria Gran Reserva Pinot Noir 2014 (485284), a fruit bomb and little else (shame on you James Suckling, who gave this wine 91 points)
• $25 Rockcliffe Third Reef Chardonnay 2015 (480202), concentrated vanilla and apples, just too forward and simple (shame on you James Halliday, who gave this wine 93 points)
• $22 Michel Gassier Nostre Païs 2014 (295410), flat and boring
• $17 Alkoomi White Label Sémillon/Sauvignon Blanc 2016 (428383), simple and lacked appeal

Use the find store feature on the LCBO website (www.lcbo.com) to determine where you can buy wines that interest you. The locator on http://www.lcbo.com works better than the locator on http://www.vintages.com. Copy the product number, perform a search with that number and use the “find a store” feature.

Product Consultants can request a transfer from another store to the one that is better for you. The KGBO may be the controlling monopoly but you are the customer.

The next Vintages release is Saturday April 29. Hopefully I will have my tax return done and be able to post comments on Tuesday May 2.

 

Happy Tuesday!

Our Story So Far

The year is 2016. Premier Kathleen Wynne of The People’s Republic of Ontario has been in power for a couple of years. Her predecessor Dalton “The Weasel” McGuinty now is imparting his vast wisdom on Harvard’s next generation of comrades. Students are waiting a year to take his marquee course “how to construct gas plant contracts for fun and votes”. Meanwhile, the People’s Republic lay in near financial ruin. Debt has soared. Citizens are taxed out. Oakville citizens can only afford to preheat one of the family’s Lexuses. The People’s Republic needs more funds but to raise taxes is risking a revolt. What to do…what to do…what to do?

Premier Wynne: I need juice man. I need juice bad. When do I get some juice?

Charles Sousa (Finance Minister & Minister responsible for the LCBO): Kathleen is talking about taxes. We need to extract more money from the citizens of the Republic.

Eric Hoskins (Health Minister): Then let’s raise taxes…the HST…income taxes…we have options.

Sousa: Are you kidding me? We need to get re-elected in 2018. We need a change that people will quickly forget. Something hidden. Something that they will be embarrassed to complain about.

Wynne: I need juice!

Hoskins: How about hospital user fees?

Sousa: I can’t figure out whether you are slow or inexperienced. Really? User fees? Really? User fees are not hidden. You’ll piss people off each time they cut their finger or get a STD. We need to cast our eyes towards “sin” and that means the LCBO. We control billions there. I say we make the LCBO collect more taxes. We can hide it and people will not dare to complain. Making them pay more for mediocre wine is for their own good.

Hoskins: So we have a one time increase at the LCBO and things will be okay?

Sousa: It’s now clear to me that you’re slow. One time? You’re kidding right? You don’t think that we will need more money next year, the year after, the year after that? What you need to understand is that we need a long-term “juice” plan. So, in June 2016 we force the LCBO to increase their margins by 2%, then another 2% in April 2017 and so on.

Wynne: I NEED JUICE NOW!

Sousa: Right, more juice…so what we will also do is increase the basic tax on non-Ontario wine by 1% and will repeat that increase every year until 2019. We’ll need to increase taxes at the crappy wine sold in grocery stores too…a convenience tax for the privilege of buying shitty wine where you buy stale bread and toothpaste.

Wynne: Ja Ja Ja Ja JUICE!

Hoskins: Calm down Kathleen. Thanks to Charles, you’ll get your juice.

It’s a story but I prefer to think of the above as historical fiction. I doubt that Kathleen Wynne is a drug addict. But, the described increases forced on the LCBO were a real part of the 2016 budget. You may have noticed that you are paying more. You’ll soon forget that and then next year, to quote Yogi Berra: “It’s like déjà vu all over again”, and you’ll have forgotten the prices increased in 2017 and wonder whether there was another increase in 2018. The 2016 LCBO pricing formula means that if the LCBO pays $5.12 for a bottle of wine then you will pay $11.95 at the cash register. The math works out to about a 133.5% markup and that percentage goes up this April and next and…well you get.

 

The first impression of the April release created some excitement. It looked as those there were many value buys. When the group gathered at the MuddleBunker last Sunday we bought about 20 wines to taste and we thought that we were in for some good hunting for value.

Sadly, most of the wines turned out to be “okay” mediocre examples. I guess that I’m slow. I get my hopes up when I read the critics’ words about a wine and later, when the wine just don’t follow through, disappointment descends. Topic for a future story?

The white wines in the release that are worth your money? None “sang” but consider these three.

The value winner is the $14 Château Saint Nabor Côtes du Rhone White 2015 (485532).

The first bottle I opened was corked and it was with some trepidation that I returned to my KGBO to try another bottle. The second was fine and the wine has nice tropical fruit flavors and aromas. A pleasant-somewhat-simple wine for the price.

For Chardonnay fans consider the $28 Louis Moreau Domaine de Biéville Chablis 2015 (106161).

or the $25 Airfield Yakima Valley Chardonnay 2014 (479295).

The Chablis shows no trace of oak, some minerality and nice fruit. The Airfield has slight oak treatment and has flavors of apple and tropical fruit. This wine showed better after being open for a day so you should decant it for a hour or more before serving. These wines will not rock your world but both wines are fine.

The $20 Le Puig Carignane de la Perpignane 2013 (480988) is the value red that we tasted.

There is some earth and nice fruit. It’s a bit high in alcohol so make sure that you chill it in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. The wine improves with air so decanting is recommended.

Want to try another value red then buy a bottle of the $14 Senorio de la Antigua Mencía 2012 (481549).

It’s a somewhat fruit forward “house” wine that has enough body to stand up to hearty food. Make sure that you chill it in your refrigerator for 30 minutes. Decanting also improves this wine.

If you are a Pinot Noir fan you may want to try the $25 Invivo Central Otago Pinot Noir 2014 (466029).

This wine has great cherry flavors. The alcohol level is high and the burn will get in the way of your enjoyment of this wine. We gave it a good chill (for example, 45 minutes in the refrigerator) and the wine came together. It went wonderfully with salmon.

The $22 Ardal Reserva 2006 (167700) is a solid house wine and a wine that is often available at the KGBO near you.

Want a decent wine for pairing with charred meat? Then you may want to try the $20 Turkey Flat Butchers Block Shiraz/Grenache/Mourvèdre 2014 (90241). Too juicy for me to drink on its own but it offers a decent value wine to go with some food.

Time for the airing of the grievances and let’s start with the whites.

Simple and mediocre whites include the $28 Ken Forrester Old Vine Reserve Chenin Blanc 2016 (231282), the $22 Domaines Schlumberger Les Princes Abbés Pinot Gris 2014 (21253), and the $22 Guado al Tasso Vermentino 2015 (177428). No flaws but I can’t think of a compelling reasons to buy these wines.

White wines in the release to avoid include the $30 La Crema Sonoma Coast Chardonnay 2014 (962886) unless you really like heavily oaked Chardonnay. For me it was like I was licking a board. For others the wood may come across as heavily buttered popcorn. This is not a wine for me. Another wine I consider to be flawed is the $20 Château Grand Mouëys 2015 (489807). The local critics love this wine but to me the nose was just nasty sulphur and my bottle is going back for a refund. Finally, for the whites, I suggest that you avoid the $30 Castello di Ama Al Poggio 2013 (747394). Castello di Ama is one of favorite producers anywhere so it breaks my heart to suggest that you avoid this wine. However, the bottle we opened was corked and there are stories circulating that many other bottles of this wine were also corked. I fear that there may be a problem with the corks used on this wine and don’t have the confidence that a purchase is absent undue risk.

Mediocre red wines include the $29 Valserrano Reserva 2010 (314963), the $17 In Situ Reserva Carmenère 2015 (37952), the $19 Brumont Tour Bouscassé 2011 (414615), and the $23 Castello d’Alba Vinhas Velhas Grande Reserva 2013 (427880). There’s nothing wrong with these wines but there is also nothing compelling about buying one either.